By Trina Otero
Written Feb. 23, 2019
“Everything is a process. Surrender to the process.” These are the words I said to myself as I walked slowly behind Ty & Wolfgang through the wooded park. The pouring rain blended with my tears, washing away my frustration, anger, and sadness. It’s been a very long, interesting ride the past three years, especially last year, and the turbulence is coming to a close. But even this ending is a process, it seems.
I want us to be in California immediately but that isn’t the reality. Which is what I had to come to terms with Saturday. And sometimes it is a hard pill to swallow when you have imagined something over and over and have put forth focus and creativity in dream-work, as in weaving possibilities and beautiful ideas to put into motion. The opportunity to live off-grid at the Wild Burro Rescue is fairly new, we received that offer in late January, but I have been searching and dreaming of off-grid opportunities since 2013. Sometimes manifestation is like that, it can take time. It’s finally here, we’re so close, but we have to take this transition step-by-step and slower than I expected, which is what upset me Saturday. We have to work with our finances. (By the way, a huge huge thank you to those who have contributed in some way to this trek and opportunity!) We also have to finish last minute things here in Kentucky and then we’re fully free to begin our travels Westward.🏞️
We can’t just hop into our van and go because of a few factors. We had to move out of our apartment in such a short amount of time so we weren’t able to sell, throw away, and pack belongings in a more organized fashion. We did what we could with the time, energy, and tools we had. So, we’ll have to go through our belongings, which are being stored right now, very soon to figure out what will make the cut for our journey West. I feel like I have too much stuff (I really don’t, but to me I do). Having too much stuff stresses me out. Weighs me down. Like now, when I want us to just hop in our cool cargo van and be gone from this place lol. When I met Ty I remember telling him I didn’t want stuff, didn’t wanna set roots, etc, that I wanted my hippie van and I had plans to go to Australia. And he told me that I’m a human being and it’s ok to have things, it’s ok to be grounded and grow roots, and that we could get a hippie van together. 😆 Well, all of that kind of happened except the Australia part, ha, and we finally got our hippie van last Wednesday, thanks to the kindness of Kitty and Rebekah donating to our cause. (Their donations + what we had was JUST enough to present ourselves, our hearts and money to the van seller.) The van story is a super cool one too, I’ll have to share it soon. 🚐
Another reason we can’t start our drive yet is because we noticed one of our cats, Nava, has a wound. Friday after an exhausting day of fully removing our belongings from our apartment and cleaning it for inspection, we camped in our van for the first time. At Blevins Gap. It was nice to be in nature, for there to be darkness, no city lights, and the light of the moon. But it wasn’t glamorous or magical like I had planned in my head. We were cramped because we were too exhausted to organize our van, I couldn’t get comfortable for a long time, I felt weird residual energy in the ether, and lastly, because Nava kept shaking his head in his kennel. He kept waking me up when I did finally fall asleep. We couldn’t figure out what was going on, especially in the dark, but in the morning we realized his ears were very itchy. We had noticed him scratching them before but now.. he was seriously shaking his head every few minutes. We were worried about him, especially because he had a boo-boo on his left ear, so we decided to take him to a walk-in clinic operated by the Kentucky Humane Society. Turns out he had ear mites and fleas really bad, poor baby 😢 he literally ran away one week before we were to move out, and was gone about five days. He did this in January too, for a full week. I imagine this is how he got these buggers, and he scratched his ear so much that he opened up his skin inside his ear and cartilage is exposed! When the vet showed us I got so upset. She was able to treat him for the parasites, but we have to take him to a different clinic this week for minor surgery to stitch up the exposed flesh. For now, he is wearing an e-collar to prevent further scratching. He looks really cute and it’s kind of funny. But he isn’t very happy about it. 😾
His condition is one huge reason I was upset crying in the woods Saturday, soothing and telling myself to trust the process. I felt so sad that he had been in pain and I felt stressed about money. I had fear that the surgery would set us back in our plans to leave to California. During my walk in nature I had to come to terms and accept our situation and how it didn’t match what I had created in my head. I had to remind myself that I have to surrender to it ALL, surrender to the moment, to the journey, to this process. To let go of control and continue to believe and have faith. Everything is unfolding the way it should. And I had to remind myself of that. Expectations are a bitch, and I didn’t realize I had created some.
There are maybe one or two more reasons we can’t leave just yet, but they are minor. The major last reason is money. It’s not like we have had an opportunity to save money, we have had numerous events happen that have been baffling, eye-opening, and a blow to our wallets. (We’ll be talking about this in more detail in our new series: Exposing the Parasitic Structure, tune in!) Everything in this reality, and in this area, is falling apart, coming to a close, and so nothing has worked for us when we pursue it, so that has affected our finances. And that has shown us in a huge way that this is not where we’re supposed to be anymore. When doors begin closing I begin paying attention and feeling out where the energy is flowing. And honey, it ain’t in Kentuckiana. But another door did open, quite serendipitously too. Wild Burro Rescue found a comment I left on an online article last summer when I was searching for off-grid and caretaker opportunities (when we lost our home & land). They reached out to us January 25, same day we found out our landlord had filed eviction! One door closing, and another, more resonant one, opening! 💫 I also found out that same day that my employer was letting me go from one of my positions in the company. Double whammy. It was odd and bittersweet. I wasn’t angry. I honestly didn’t like grading Toeic tests, I was more upset that this drastically affected my hours and pay…. When I looked at my new schedule I saw how much time/space was created in February after being let go and that felt like a huge sign to me. I knew that this was carving out time for us to prepare for something. For Wild Burro Rescue. For travel. Although we hadn’t gotten an official invite yet the Universe was showing me that this was going to be our next destination. Our new chapter. (Yes,we have been officially chosen now as the new live-in couple at the sanctuary.👫)
You can continue to read about our journey, I’ve created a special category just for this 👉 Our Magical Trek West