Falling out of love

How People Fall Out of Love

By Trina Otero

Falling in love, true love, is when two people see one another’s soul, the soul which is void of the human flaws that have been acquired while on earth. The soul is pure.

Lovers become distant because of pain.. Hurt feelings. Lovers become distant because someone’s expectations aren’t met, the beautiful shining image of their partner is damaged by human mistakes, mean words are tossed around…

I usually use my experiences as a foundation for my writings, which is good is it not? It is better to speak from experience than from ignorance. So here I speak about a past experience in which I was in love and one of my expectations was shattered. His image no longer looked the same as what I had in my mind. I felt an array of feelings. Disappointment. Sadness. Jealousy. Heartache. Then I felt.. Detached. I felt a little cold, like it was easy to break away and not speak to him. And I didn’t. I expressed my feelings openly to him, in a way that was non-offensive, so that he would be aware of how I felt. I did it for communication. To be honest. Not to guilt-trip him [hence the non-offensive approach]. He responded but it was not to my liking so I just ignored him and chose to analyze my feelings. I like to analyze the situation and my feelings to see why I feel that way. To understand the root. Then I work on myself whether that be through prayer, reflection, meditation, mantras, expression.. I like to make sure I’m not over-reacting or in the wrong, because if I am I make sure to right my wrong. In this case I knew an idea had been shattered. An expectation was not met. I knew that my perspective of him had changed, and after prayer and listening to a mantra I felt at peace.

I noticed how I felt different about him while I was upset. It felt easier to think of myself without him. To not talk to him. It was easy to judge him and to view him as a regular, disappointing man. Because I felt disappointment. But after prayer and a mantra meditation it was easy to think about how I still loved him. I thought about all the choices I made while feeling Love for him within me. I thought about him.. All of him. I remembered his face. I remembered how strong he is, how smart he is, how beautiful his soul is. He’s a King. Then it clicked. This is how people become detached from one another. This is how they fall out of Love.

I get it.

This happens to couples and marriages all over the world.

I felt my heart opening up as understanding rushed in… Falling out of Love does not mean a relationship is over. Falling out of Love is when a person makes the choice to stop seeing their partner with Love. The person chooses to judge and react rather than trying to understand. In “Creating a Marriage You’ll Love” many of the authors [including Dr. John Gray] explain how falling out of Love and falling in Love are choices. They are choices, people. Having disagreements, even experiencing disappointments, are normal. It’s going to happen – we’re human, we’re not perfect – but will you choose to see your partner as the awesome person he/she is when they are strong or will you choose to focus on a flaw they expose when they are not at their best? Falling out of Love is just a chain reaction, which means it can be stopped and reversed.

This means that we can always find our way back to our hearts. ❤ So next time you hit a rough patch, breathe. Practice patience and understanding. Don’t fight. Don’t judge. Don’t nitpick. Open your heart and choose peace. Choose Love. I bet when your partner notices you are vulnerable, unwilling to fight, they will let down their guard too.

Find your way back to your heart! Fall back in Love! It’s easier than you think.

I totally recommend reading “True Love: A Practice for Awakening the Heart” by Thich Nhat Hanh and “Creating a Marriage You’ll Love” by  Mark Chimsky-Lustig, John Gray, et al.

May the Light guide you.
Inspired? Share my Love but please credit my work with my name and the original link ❤

Creative Commons License

All works by Trina Otero is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

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