By Trina Otero
Oh em gee….yes. I just said that, because it’s needed! These past two weeks have been interesting. They weren’t hard, just spiritually and emotionally interesting. To refresh your memory, the New Year started with a New Moon in Capricorn. I created a post and included passages from two websites that had really good interpretations of the astrological alignments. You can read about that here. I felt prepared for the oncoming weeks — I knew I needed to be focused on my new goals and it would be easier to achieve because of Capricorn’s influences. I also knew a transformative process would occur. Death to rebirth. So why, oh why did I forget that part? Ha! I normally don’t write openly about my personal life, and when I do I use metaphors or use a story line, but I realized I will have to be more open with my readers so that more relate and receive the healing they need. Because honestly, the best way to teach is through experience. So here goes…
These past two weeks I slowly began to notice I was feeling an energy, or energies, and I didn’t really like the way it was making me feel. It honestly didn’t feel like my own energy and I had to clear my space, mind, and energy daily, sometimes multiple times in a day. I don’t live alone, so the people living here also had the potential to affect me. And they did. It got to the point where I wanted to be alone in my room all the time [not that unusual for me anyways, I’m a hermit]. This is when I truly began to practice emitting my energy and frequency. Beforehand, I was maintaining my high vibrations and being happy and loving everywhere I went. But because of my spiritual growth and heightened intuition, I began to see how other people’s moods/emotions affected me on an energetic level. I was noticing the drop in my vibrations, the change in my thought patterns, and the different number sequences I’d see around me [I have a theory about repeating numbers and frequencies]. So I practiced keeping my space safe and in high vibration, and emitting my frequency anytime I felt lower vibrations. I was learning to emit my own frequency rather than absorbing the frequencies of others.
I also felt this nervous energy. Kind of like anxiety. And I began to feel this…pressure on my chest..near my heart. I felt this a few times back in November and had associated it with someone I knew at that time; I was easily picking up on his emotions and energy. So I didn’t understand why I was feeling it again. I started to think I was beginning to have anxiety about my new love interest. I constantly prayed and meditated about this, because before I felt this nervous energy I felt very safe and loved by my beau. I was very aware of the fears I had going into a new relationship, hell, we both were aware of our fears, but we both were aware they were just that — fears. Both of us are spiritually-driven people who live in and for Love, and choose Love over fear every day. So the nervous energy didn’t feel right. Then I began to have these thoughts…jajaja…like doubts I guess. And I guess doubts are so foreign to me, because it is like I have this Superwoman mentality now that I understand the powerful magnitude of our thoughts and decisions, and how they affect our energy and how it ripples out into the Universe. These doubts did not make any sense at all…So I continued to do some yoga and meditation daily. I released energy every day. I spoke positive affirmations. All of this would bring me back to my center, my heart.
I picked up an old book, True Love by Thich Nhat Hanh, and began to read it again during spare moments. One night I sat in my cozy, coral-colored chair, wrapped myself in a blanket and began to read the book. A phrase made my thoughts trail off and I had a vision. An idea. I saw the heart chakra and I saw a drawing of a heart behind it..with light pouring out of it. I knew this was a Lightworker’s heart — the heart of an empath and Lightworker who has mastered the art of emitting frequencies rather than absorbing them. For the first time in many, many, many months, I picked up my sketchbook and began to diligently draw my vision. I turned on ambient music as I did this. A song caught my attention [a song I had never heard before] by the pianist Peter Kater. This song led me to hunt for more of Kater’s work on YouTube, and I found a song he created with a woman named Snatam Kaur. This is how my new passion was birthed for kirtan and mantra music.
I sat in my chair for many hours sketching my heart chakra in detail while listening to Snatam Kaur sing mantras. I had no clue what she was saying but I found the words soothing to my heart, mind, and soul. I paid complete attention to my work and found myself humming and singing to songs after hearing certain words repeated a few times. I didn’t even realize I was singing until I was halfway through her album. It took me two days to complete this art piece…and when I looked at the finished product I was shocked. It was a pretty good expression of the heart, in my opinion…and I also realized in that moment that this whole time I have been working on my heart chakra! I thought I began working on my heart chakra when my new love entered my life, but later I discovered I have slowly been working on my heart chakra since October. Once I was aware of the energy work going on within me, the process became easier for me. I stopped being so afraid of the doubts and fears that surfaced, and I recognized that they were surfacing for release and healing. For transformation.
“Turn an annoyance into a reminder of privilege…..Next time you get annoyed, catch yourself and see it as a reminder of how privileged you are to have them in your life. Anything that annoys you can be the trigger for gratitude and love. This is true alchemy, the turning of the base into the precious.” — www.finerminds.com
Everyday I listened to the Moola Mantra by Deva Premal [my new fav!], practiced deep breathing, used sound vibrations, spoke lovingly to myself, repeated positive affirmations, and even tried the Sliding Doors asana. All of these techniques really helped ease that feeling in my chest, which was old energy, in my heart chakra. Fears. One night while listening to the Moola Mantra I said a prayer and felt my whole body go limp, and I began to see visions as I continued to pray. I remember asking God to help me release the fears but to transform the energy, not destroy it, into flowers of Love. I watched as the flowers floated out away from me and into the Universe…falling onto the paths of random individuals and impacting their lives in a loving, positive way. When I came out of this state I was completely at peace…and then surprised. Something about this mantra helped me with this process, so I searched for the words and the meaning… The mantra is so beautiful and perfect for the transformation!
“There is no battle between good and evil, positive and negative; there is only the care given by the big brother to the little brother. In Buddhist meditation, we observe, we act in a nondualistic fashion, and thus the waste materials of the conscious mind can always be transformed into flowers of compassion, love and peace. Our consciousness is a living thing, something organic in nature. There are always waste materials and flowers in us. The gardener who is familiar with organic gardening is constantly on the alert to save the waste materials because he knows how to transform them into compost and then transform that compost into flowers and vegetables. So be grateful for your pains, be grateful for suffering—you will need them.” – Thich Nhat Hanh, True Love
Just the other night I felt fears rise yet again, and this frustrated me but I remembered to be gentle with myself. I cried and comforted myself as I called in Archangel Metatron. Metatron is my dude! Well, my homie, since he-she is androgynous. AA Metatron has helped me quite a bit over the past three months with energy blocks, cutting energy cords, and old fears. I found myself surrendering as I cried, asking him-her to help me release the fears and the energy behind all of this…and I was shown snippets. Memories. In that moment, I was shown the root of these fears. My fears were spawned from what I had learned from my parents and their relationship. I will say right now I love both of my parents so this is not a bashing segment. This is about observation and recognizing fear-based patterns. I had no concept of a romantic relationship until my parents, correct? And well, my parents divorced when I was 12 I believe. I remember creating opinions about men, marriage, and love at a very young age based off their rocky relationship and divorce. Obviously, I did not have an optimistic outlook, jaja. I had this realization when I was about 20, but now as a 26-year-old woman I understand the energetic impact…the energy imprint that was embedded in me. [My “negative emotions” about the situation left low energy within my aura, on top of absorbing the energies of my parents.] Perhaps I even had a grudge? Not quite sure…but Metatron showed all of this to me…and I felt understanding and relief wash over me. I said a prayer to release and forgive, and I gave my gratitude.
Damn you, New Moon in Capricorn. Damn you, Pluto. [Not really.] Lol….this is when I had the aha! moment…when I remembered what I read on New Years day..what I had friggin’ POSTED on my blog about the new moon bringing in energies for “death” so there could be rebirth!
Evolving Door described the New Moon in Capricorn as “labour: labour pains, screaming and yelling, and push, push, push!” Um, no joke. Change can be uncomfortable. It usually involves leaving your comfort zone and confronting fears. But this is the Roman god Pluto‘s job — the lord of the Shadowland. Bringing out the skeletons, the fears. Not to scare you away weeping like a big baby, but so that you can release and TRANSFORM. To be reborn.
Well, if you are wondering why I am rambling about my spiritual and emotional experiences, I will get to the point! Tonight there will be a Full Moon in Cancer. Most people would want to run and cry. I did once I heard the sign Cancer. I associate Cancer with “moody” and “emotional.” So I thought, “Oh geez, I don’t want another emotional day man.” But I read something Cynthia Occelli posted on Facebook. This Full Moon in Cancer will provide an opportunity to release anything and everything holding you back from your true desires. Yes, it may be emotional — full moon nights are emotional for me anyways. But who said transformation was supposed to be all pretty and shit? Getting into physical shape isn’t pretty or easy — there’s a lot of motivation-building, routine, strict eating, tons of sweating, red-hot cheeks, and tired muscles. Spiritual transformation isn’t that much different.
If you take advantage of this full moon tonight, I feel like it will be a beautiful experience. An experience where you can release all fears and energies that are blocking you from your deepest desires. An experience where you can mother your inner child. An experience where you can make your intentions known to the Universe. An experience where you can begin to poke through your cocoon and get ready to burst through and spread your beautiful butterfly wings. ♥
I am happy to report that while I cruised through Shadowland these past two weeks I managed to stay on fire with ambition and focus on my new ideas for my future! Capricorn really did come through during this time. And I have to say that I am uber excited about this year and beyond, because for the first time in the history of my life all my different ideas are coming together into what I can see as my lifework. I honestly owe much gratitude to Mi Amor, who unexpectedly showed up in my life with humor, intellect, patience, and his heart — ushering in a huge wave of grounding clarity and inspiration that I desperately needed. ♥ Thank you, my Love ♥
Here are some resources about the Full Moon in Cancer:“Grandmother Moon comes into her FULLness, in her first cycle of 2014, in the sign of Cancer, the MOTHER. Mother energy comes to bring healing and release the hardness. Her wisdom calls for nurturance, healing, and the remembrance to awaken our own MOTHER energy and foremost bring that loving care to ourselves. As we allow our emotions to come forth and inform us of their medicine, the waters flow forth to balance and nourish the dry earth.” – Mystic Mama “The Cancer Full Moon is bringing collective awareness to the need of the hour. We are to balance our male and female energies…Father Sun is in Capricorn. Mother Moon is in Cancer. These Planets oppose and challenge each other…You need to be balanced in your male and female sides. Male is not better than female. Female is not better than male. We are made of both…” – Kelley Rosano “The Full Moon in Cancer at 25 degrees on January 15th, 2014, puts each person in touch with surfacing emotions as well as hidden ones from long ago. “The Full Moon phase symbolizes a heightening of emotional waves and with Cancer being a water sign, you know this Full Moon phase will sure to bring important emotional awareness and opportunity to heal emotional pain. Ask yourself, how can you give yourself the comfort you seek elsewhere? “Many things in life are changing, altering that the Full Moon in Cancer may activate as this is the first full moon of the new year. Something inside of you may be yearning for nourishment and tenderness. While another part of you needs to let go of being attached to a past dysfunctional emotional pattern or pain that began in childhood. “…Use your intention to bring greater illumination of that which is hidden from your awareness. Allow yourself to journey into the world of your emotional level and pin point the habitual tendency that seems to set up an ‘avoidance’ reaction to healing. Journey into the heart and let yourself go through the healing process to access the rich wisdom contained within the wound.” – Celestial Space © Copyright 2001 – 2012 – Dipali Desai and www. spheresofessence.com. “Whatever you want to accomplish this year is in many ways like a growing child — and sometimes just as temperamental, changeable and difficult to manage! You need to tend to it and feed it regularly. Take some time every day or every week or every month — whatever works best for you — and focus on what you want to accomplish. Schedule the time to do this just like you would to do laundry or housecleaning or take out the recycling. “Not sure what to do? That’s where your plan comes in – you know, the one you were supposed to have done in the last 2 weeks under the New Moon in Capricorn. 😉 Didn’t do one? Well, there’s no time like the present!” – Evolving Door “If you began certain goals at the New Moon in Capricorn, you might see them begin to blossom. You already started the foundation; now it’s time shelter your creations. Trust and protect those dreams! “The Cancer Full Moon also means a time for emotional expression. Chances are you’ll experience a wide range of feelings right now and shed a few tears. Don’t be alarmed; let it serve as a cleansing for you. This is an opportunity for you to get in touch with your emotions. Trust them, honor them and release them. And most of all cherish yourself as you process your feelings. Embrace the energy of this Full Moon and all that it brings!” – Psychics Universe
With much tender Love. Namaste,